Really Good Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler

- Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo."

- Consider carefully before visiting a country where the license plate motto is Die American Pig.

- There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.

- On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter. (Unless you go to Quebec)

- Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.

- Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs, Two.

- Do not ask for directions to a Kosher restaurant when in Syria.

- In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.

- If you enjoy beaches and surfing make Wyoming your second choice.

- Avoid Sudan in the summer. ( or winter )

- Buying cut rate first class tickets from a guy near an airport is not a good idea.

- Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.